Here I am, acting in spite of numerous insecurities, determined for sake of hope to do something with the life that has been given to me. My outward actions and my heart certainly conflict in this matter, pretending to be a blissful adventurer despite the truth of my deep rooted fear and pessimism. Standing up to the winds of defeat and self pity, in an honest attempt to be my very best.

So? I've made my first move towards a better life by enrolling in a fire academy, which thus far is proving to be the hardest thing I've ever done. The demand for greatness made by my superiors is never changing, and never ceasing. Perfection is expected in the great and the purely mundane of everything there is to be done. All actions must be done with a righteous motivation each and every time, and anything short of such is seen as complete failure. Its a curious thing to see how this reasoning begins to trickle down into other aspects of my life and I wonder what the final outcome of all this will be.

I can't begin to describe the expectations that I have placed upon my life, and I equally realize that perseverance must be my closest companion through it all. Without it, failure is a must.
But to reach the other side, to claim the prize... To say to myself that I have achieved what I once thought impossible, that is something that is worth the effort. Oddly enough, I've also come to see that the majority of the struggle will be a battle against only myself. And that most of what is to be conquered is within my own mind. For what is a world full of impossibilities, when it is viewed through the eyes of stubborn bliss? Certainly not something that can't be overcome.